The Everyday Bro’s go-to Series: How NOT to Propose!

The Everyday Bro’s go-to Series: How NOT to Propose!

You’ve done it. You’ve decided to bro up and pop a knee (ring included) in front of your girlfriend. Admit, you need to score full marks for that proposal, right? You want to give your girl a story that will make her Great Grandma happy – and all her mates, and all her work colleagues, and all her FaceBook friends and and and. No pressure, dude.

The bugger sadly, is that there are many a faux pas in the proposal department that nobody speaks about at the watering hole. You’re meant to know all this stuff before you hit puberty, right? Wrong. So here’s what they don’t tell you, and how you don’t do it, so that you can nail that proposal like a Nicholas Sparks maniac (don’t ask, the chicks dig him).

The Don’t Do’s

Don’t propose: if you aren’t James Bond-ing like a pro:

This is a big day and a man’s gotta look his best; think of the millions of photographs. Oh and the shares, the shares. Start yourself off on the right ‘flick’ by looking hot damn dapper when you pop the Q. This means, managing the mane at a Men’s Hair Salon in Cape Town or Johannesburg, like Sorbet Man. Short back and sides, maybe a comb over will go down well on social media. Whatever makes your boat rock.

Don’t propose: without the bling, man:

According to businesstech.co.za your engagement ring should cost 2 months’ gross salary. Say what? That’s assuming you’re in middle management, somewhere up level 6 on the ladder by now. But this is 2018, the year of the ‘dog’, or whatever, and you may just be living in South Africa where the Rand is weak – but oh, the value of diamonds is not. We say weigh up your pocket, be realistic and fact check yourself before you dig deep. As long as your ring isn’t begged, borrowed, stolen or fake, then you should be fine.  And never, ever ever…forget the ring box dude. They live for that man.

Don’t: let her put a ring on that finger without treating her to a manicure first:

To earn major points, that could (we say ‘could’) get you a lifelong routine of home-cooked dinners, do yourselves both a favour and book a Sorbet Gelish Power Mani for your lady a week leading up to the big Q. You’re not just giving her a ring, you’re giving her instagram inspo.

Don’t propose: unless you’ve ticked all the boxes

The ‘One’? Check! Parents Approval? Check! Rocks with a view? Check! (Do not let her slip!!) Wallet for dinner and champagne? Check. Ring? Check. Photographer  – or at least a mate with a smartphone – Check! Then you’re all set. If your checklist isn’t complete, go back to the top and start again.

Don’t propose: with a game of ‘hide-the-ring-in-food’:

Not a good idea. To avoid an awkward choking incident, do not put the ring into the cupcake or her cauliflower mash or in her champagne glass. It looks so much cooler in the movies, but its not. Really. Come on man! It’s time to be original. Think classic, think creative, think personal. You got this!

Don’t propose: without dropping a knee

According to engagementrings.lovetoknow.com 76% of men believe they should go down on one knee to propose. Not only does it put the ring on show, but a bended knee bestows knightly honour, surrender and respect. How you do it: left knee down, right knee up and keep the ring box in your left hand. Practice it in front of the mirror a couple times.

Don’t propose: on beer

When choosing a tot of liquor to take the edge off your proposal jitters, it’s best to avoid all beers (gas man), and wine (could make you tired). Your best bet is a scotch – or a shot of tequila. One only! You’ve been warned.

Lastly and in the spirit of love this February, do NOT propose on Valentine’s Day! We’re serious. It’s been done a batrillion times. And don’t do it on Galentine’s Day either (read more here) – the girls will find you bro…when you’re sleeping.

And you’re off. Go get ‘em tiger.

For all the swag you need, for any special occasion, visit Sorbet Man or see www.sorbetman.co.za